I don’t know if it’s my age, but life has seemed particularly overwhelming of late. It sometimes feels like the sorrow of the world is unrelenting, and in that mindset every small challenge can be enough to send you into a downward spiral of hopelessness. So often I have to take a mental step back and remind myself just how much I have to be thankful for, internally repeating to myself ‘focus on the good stuff!’.

When life makes you cynical (and currently, how could it not) it can be easy to scoff at people preaching mindfulness, gratitude and positivity. But having been around quite a few negative people in my life, I know how negativity can seep into your thoughts and affect how you see the world, how you see people and how you see yourself. I have seen how constant negativity can start to affect a person physically, as well as mentally.

So when I read about the concept of ‘glimmers’ a few months back it really stayed with me. A glimmer is essentially the opposite of a trigger – a tiny moment that brings you back to a sense of joy, safety and comfort.

The term ‘glimmers’ was coined by a trauma therapist as a part of polyvagal theory. This theory describes how our involuntary nervous system is constantly searching our environment for cues, hardwired to be on the lookout for danger. Just as a trigger is a cue, so too is a glimmer – but a positive one. The vagus nerve is responsible for this ‘neuroception’, and the vagal state is likened to a ladder. When a stressful situation occurs – whether triggered by actual danger or the trickery of a horrible memory – the body goes into fight or flight mode. This raises the heart rate, blood pressure and adrenaline levels. If you are in this state too often, or too long, it can cause health problems. Below this, at the bottom of the ladder, is the ‘freeze’ state where you become immobilised by fear. The goal is to be at the top of the ladder, in the ‘ventral’ vagal state, where you feel safe and at rest. More time in this state reduces your risk of disease.

Whilst most of this is involuntary, it is possible to try and manage where you are on the ladder. Ways to stimulate the vagus nerve include things like breathing deeply and slowly, cold immersion, exercise, massage, singing, laughing and the thing that stayed with me the most – noticing those glimmers. Recognising the tiny, positive moments over and over can actually reshape your nervous system and make you more resilient.

The best thing is you really don’t have to look far. Our days are made of a myriad of ups and downs, and even on the worst there are plenty of moments of peace and connection that can pass you by. That first sip of hot tea in the morning. A favourite song unexpectedly on the radio. Meeting eyes with someone across the office, knowing that you are inwardly laughing at the same thing. Admiring a sunset, or the moon, or a solitary little flower amongst dead leaves.

It’s hard to train your brain to notice the good more than the bad, and most days are not spent doing big, memorable things. So we really must look out for the small stuff, and always remember to look for the little bit of light round the edges.